We talked about this change for a while. My husband and I processed together and he knew how I felt about certain things and valued my words. But at the end of the day I was following him out the gate. He would give the initial, “ok I think this is where the Lord is leading us so lets head in that direction.” and i said, “Ok”.
With that yes, I was saying yes to Him as he seeks and follows the Lord. And I was making a commitment in my heart not to hold it against him if something went wrong due to a decision that was made in the midst of the process.
Let me tell you, that can be hard. Cause when the poo poo hits the fan its in our sin nature to blame somebody. It happened in the beginning after Eve ate the fruit, that God told her not to, and then gave it to Adam to eat. God found them hiding and asked Adam about what happened and he told him, “It was the woman you gave me.” (Genesis 3) Yep, that’s what we do.
In anger we want someone to blame and as wives who choose to follow our husbands leading we have to be careful not to play the – “I told you so” card or give the, “look what you did” look. We are tempted to do this and it may even be something that our spouses do to us but we know that we are held accountable to the Lord for our own actions. We must remember that we have an adversary who wants to kill and destroy (John 10:10) our marriage. When opportunities to place guilt or blame on our spouses for a wrong decision arise we have to cling to the power of God’s Spirit that is within us to respond in a way that gives life and not takes it away. At that moment “ . . . sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7b)
I know that all of our situations are different as well as the types of spouses we have. All i’m saying is at the end of the day my husband needed to know that I would support him, encourage him and speak truth to him. He didn’t need a “Yes woman” to just agree with everything he suggested. But what he did need was encouragement and respect. I remember seeing him those days when the weight of the process was heavy. There were decisions that needed to be made and conversations that needed to be had. Those were the days he needed my prayers and encouragement, not nagging or looks of disappointment in him.
So when I encourage you to make sure you say YES to your husband in the midst of changes and transitions, I mean yes to letting him know that He is your priority and your relationship with him is valued over everything else. At the end of the day and the end of whatever decision that needs to be made or change you are in the midst of, the hope is that the relationship will not be a casualty but instead it to will also grow and come out on the other side much much stronger.
This is Day 4 in a series on Growth In The Midst of Change & Transition. To read previous post click here.