We had had many conversations like this but i could tell in his voice that this was IT. So I asked for clarity, “So, are you definitely saying that you sense the Lord is leading us to leave staff?” (with a ministry we had served with for many years)
With a certain assurance, he replied, “Yes, Sandy, thats what I’m saying.”
I knew it would be in vain to ask a gamut of questions that he wouldn’t know the answer to like . . .
What are you thinking we will do?
When will we let people know?
What’s the timeline?
Are we leaving vocational ministry altogether?
Do you think you would want to go to seminary?
How will we tell the boys?
Questions. I had them, but they were in vain. I could of course go to God with them but still not expect booming answers of dates, times, places, yes or no’s right that second.
It was a walk of faith, a journey ahead full of change and transition that even now, sitting 10 months since that conversation, I know I could not have predicted or dreamed up the journey that laid in front of us.
But at that moment, in that conversation, the most important question was looming . . .
Will you trust Me? You don’t see the bigger picture but will you trust that I have written it – Will you trust Me? It will be a process filled with highs, lows, cheers, and fears – Will you trust me?
Me, “Well, ok” – thats the best yes I could give at that time. Not because I didn’t sense this was the direction we should go in, but because I was looking back at a life of fruitful ministry, lifelong friendships made and a confidence in knowing how to do what we did – we had been doing it since college. And I was looking ahead to a lot of different, and not much familiar and that was both adventurous and down right anxiety filled – the kind that makes you ball up in a corner and just shake & cry.
We follow in the footsteps of many who were faced with a God led journey, like Abraham, Moses, Mary (the Mother of Jesus) and even Jonah. We can learn from their faith or lack thereof in the scriptures. Their stories and many others give us reality of the journey, hope within the process and warnings of things to avoid.
Do you sense change or transition approaching in your life that you need to give a big fat YES or a mustard seed “well, ok” to? I encourage you to surrender it to the Lord, tell Him your fears and hesitations and let Him know you need His strength to say yes – He will provide.